he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
