I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize