Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
