I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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