his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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