Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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