You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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