I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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