If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
