nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
