Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
