We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
