Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
