Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
