Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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