My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
