She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
