You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize