When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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