I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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