Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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