How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize