I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
