she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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