Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
