I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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