Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
