just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
