...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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