if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you would pick up someone in the library
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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