we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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