stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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