Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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