so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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