What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
