I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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