ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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