I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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