I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
