So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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