No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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