I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize