i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
