We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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