Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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