mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
