apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
