i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
