you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My dick has a subreddit
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
