i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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