Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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