Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
