So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
