you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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