Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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